I was a camp counselor for 3 summers in college. I remember the chants and the cabin pranks. The smell of sunscreen and the required lice checks we had to do with little girls as we lugged chests full of clothes and lathered sunscreen on tiny freckled faces.
We gave piggy back rides, blew the whistle when kids ran around the pool, and baited 1000 hooks to catch 3 tiny fish and 4 turtles.
We hugged kiddos when they were homesick, tried to help kids remember to brush their teeth and get all the soap out of their hair before tucking them into their bunks.
I can picture the bunk’d cabins–7 bunks on one side, 7 on the other.
I can remember porch talks with counselors as we gabbed about plans for the next day and tried to figure out how we would wrangle the 12 kiddos again in our care.
It was the hardest and best job in the world at 18-20 years old.
As I sat doing fireworks and sparklers with my nieces this weekend, we marveled at the view they have from their house and the beauty of the rainbows that have been so prevalent lately with all the rain. I got to remind them what a rainbow means–
Me: When did God create the first rainbow?
My niece: Oh–it had something to do with the ark, and the animals….
Me: Yes–God painted the sky and it was a promise that He would never again flood the whole earth.
I find it remarkable that we were talking about rainbows as we then walked inside and began to get information about Kerrville, a town just up the road from us flooding and death tolls and campers missing.
My heart twinged at the icky irony, and yet perhaps it was the Lord offering comfort and gospel conversations amidst tragedy.
Maybe it was Him whispering–
I’m the same One who painted the sky.
You’re about to get scared.
You’ve got big questions, and you have little eyes on you as you try to explain.
Remember who I am.
I am the One who made you.
I am the One who took on human form so you could know me.
I am the One who took on the cross–defeated death once and for all–died for the sins you couldn’t cover. And raised again so you could remember death doesn’t have the final say.
I paint the sky for you to remember me.
I am the same–yesterday, today and forever.
I love you–I am keeping you–I am turning this for good.
Please trust me.
But I felt the questions bubble in my chest…
But Lord….
I know it’s not the whole earth
But this is my home–it’s down the road.
Oof–those little faces–
Lord–this is still too much….
When my brain is stuck in cynical, I picture Him aloof, far off, cold.
But far-off Dad’s don’t paint skies.
And far off Dad’s don’t whisper promises.
He is close.
He is sweet.
And He grieves with us.
Though He conquered death on the cross–this side of heaven, we still feel it’s shockwaves, and we have to lean into the promises of old to stay steady when the tides rise. His promises are active–and they are meant to be remembered as a help when suffering comes near. And it does.
My sweet niece at some point said, “I want to go help”
I shook my head–I love your heart, sweet girl.
We began to talk about the helpers that were already there….the ones that needed clear roads to help the girls who were in trouble (and not more little girls trying to be heroes).
But we talked about the ways we could help:
–We could pray
–We could give
–We could send supplies
–I told her how my counseling team was rallying to be ready for the families who needed counsel and care and the ways my church was preparing support.
I am sad for my neighbors.
I am overwhelmed with grief for the parents who didn’t get to be reunited with their daughters.
I want to hug every sheriff I see who has to search in brush and rapids for the unthinkable and somehow stay strong as they delicately handle with dignity a little body who has passed, and bravely say the words nobody wants to hear to parents whose eyes shift so quickly from hopeful to devastated.
Oh, I am sad.
And oh, how I need my God to be who He says He is.
May we lean into Him with faith and gazes upward, as we look for tangible ways to enter in and care.
Love to all of you as we lament together.
Psalm 34: 18
The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.
Sincerely, Crystal 