Crystal N Wilkins

Puzzles

I hate puzzles. Hate. Loathe—never want to do them. Even the 24-piece ones that toddlers can do. It’s always a mystery to me why anyone would do a puzzle for fun. What does that even mean? I was that kid who would pound the random pieces that didn’t fit to force it to stick together.Continue reading “Puzzles”

Draw Near

She was shaking. She heard the echoing cheers of her family, and she smiled in eager excitement, but she was scared. I’d never seen her scared before. She was so feisty. She listened when she decided to. She had an eye roll that could rival any 17 year old. She marched to the beat ofContinue reading “Draw Near”

Just…

I closed the door, wiped my brow, sloshed some hand sanitizer in my hands, and checked the pager on my hip. I rushed to the trauma room, with IPAD and book in hands, bubbles in my pocket. I almost collided with my intern. Ugh, she said rolling her eyes. I just did the most annoyingContinue reading “Just…”

Steel Walls

I crouched on my knees with paper towels underneath them. I held my hair back with one hand, while I braced myself with another on the stall. My stomach turned, and my breakfast went in the opposite direction it was supposed to. I tried not to touch anything. Bathrooms are gross, but hospital bathrooms areContinue reading “Steel Walls”

Rays of orange and pink scatter the sky, to my left. The deep, dark blue dances in crashing waves, to my right. I sit in a blanket of white sand That shifts with each wiggle of my toes. My eyes are busy, capturing all the beauty possible to see— If I blink, I’ll miss something.Continue reading “More”

The work of Your fingers…

You mean you can’t control the sun… She said it gently, compassionately. My eyebrows slanted, I wrinkled my forehead, nodding as I heard the words. My therapist and I were hashing out an assignment she had given me the week before. I had confessed I was having a hard time talking to God. Specifically, IContinue reading “The work of Your fingers…”

Bleeding

I sat next to her in the crowded ER trauma room. She had her legs in stirrups. One hand was in mine, The other sat on her tummy with an IV giving her a blood transfusion first, fluids later. I sat very still while nurses and doctors bustled around us, Tossing meds to one anotherContinue reading “Bleeding”

Surrender

I sat in the middle of my floor. I heaved in bursts. I was crying, but it was an angry cry— He sat on my bed, quietly. I looked at him, then the door. Him—then the door. I jumped up, dashed to the other side of the room, Screaming, crying, beating the white-washed barrier withContinue reading “Surrender”

Lift your Heels

As I’ve thought about what to share in this medium, and the frequency…it’s hard to determine. Some weeks I could write something daily, and other weeks, I get stuck. This week, my brain is somewhere else and my writing is focused on more technical things. For that reason, I’m reaching for something in my archivedContinue reading “Lift your Heels”

The Question

We sat for two hours getting to know each other. Couple cocktails, random-forced chatter at first, and then laughter eventually. He peppered me with questions– I think he was nervous. Then, he smiled charmingly, and asked the question… So, why is a girl like you still single? Me: (internally—sigh, here we go, at least heContinue reading “The Question”